a playlist or two
Jul. 23rd, 2021 04:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
soobunanyone else take the art of Making Playlists way too seriously?
soooo :3 i've been wanting to move my akeshu playlist here for a while and then i recently got diagnosed with banfish disease & ofc had to make a playlist so i thought let's just put them together<3 i'm also now realizing how similar the titles are LOL when you have obvious taste in vaguely tragic ships... anyway lets do asheiji first since it's shorter and sweeter.
even if it's just for now. (art cr.)
not that i think anyone will read this but very brief intro:
banana fish is an anime with the worst name of all time about a drug that makes you go insane. but it's also about love and healing and it has one of the most personal canon ships of all time: asheiji.
ash is... well he's very sad and angry and also very special and he's been through the most insane shit but all he wants is to keep those around him safe and find a little peace.
a little bit hackneyed but it's true!
and then eiji is our secondary mc who meets and forms a very quick and very important bond with ash. he comes to america as a depressed photographer's assistant and leaves the love of someone's life. (from the anime: "I'm really glad I came to America. I met lots of people. And more than anything, I met you.") it really is that serious.
(is an oppressed apple music user) here's a youtube link.
➣ banana fish ost - hometown
i wanted to open and close the playlist with my two favorite osts! hometown is interesting to me because of what it implies for both ash and eiji. for ash, home is somewhere he's run away from, somewhere unsafe (despite the idyllic nature of the tiny cape cod town when we see it, when we learn a good chunk of ash's backstory.) and then for eiji, home is the exact opposite—somewhere safe. ash tries to get eiji to go home multiple times during the story (despite it being so difficult for him that we see him drinking alone in the kitchen after the first time) because he hates the danger that he brings to eiji's life. despite this, eiji stays in new york with him until the bitter end.
➣ sufjan stevens - to be alone with you
ah this song. this is one that could conceivably be both ash or eiji pov, but as whole all the songs on this playlist are ash pov to me! minus the penultimate one which i feel like acts as eiji's response. (now that i'm thinking about it it's similar to the akeshu playlist where essentially all the songs are akechi pov LOL i always find it the most interesting to get into the mind of the more... troubled character.) anyway obviously eiji doesn't see himself as having given anything up but it's about ash's self-deprecation etc etc.
and the final line in the song is:
compare this with this ash quote from ep 17(?):
I'm happy now, because I know there's at least one guy who cares for me and wants nothing in return. I can't believe how lucky I am. It's the happiest feeling in the world.
T____T
➣ lightning bug - wings of desire
definitely less of a blatant connection lyric-wise than the previous song but i really like it as a bit of a softer ash self-reflection song... i also tried to make all of these songs flow together sonically so they're all of a similar folk vein (which also fits with the two osts i made the playlist around)!
ash struggling with feelings of apathy as well as gusts of emotion ("I don't know how much blood is on my hands. I don't feel anything." from ep11, before bursting into tears), ++ ash feeling like he's chosen this life for himself despite everything that's happened to him in the past, so on.
➣ the japanese house - clean
this is the first song i added & it makes me sooo T__T
AGGHH!! eiji being the only person who truly understands him / the only person ash would even let try... and the "I knew it wouldn't last" tying back to the "even if it's not forever" part of ash's confession. i also really like the imagery of eiji casting a "clean light" on him because ash considers his sexual history an irremovable/irredeemable part of his past while he always calls eiji innocent etc etc. (obviously neither are more clean than the other but when it's ash pov it's always a little bit blunt and a little bit mean to himself. in a society where people wrote good bf fic this would be expanded on but alas)
➣ woom - come wander / chimicum rain
anyone else thinking about when eiji told ash to come back to japan with him. that he wanted to show him his hometown and take him away from all the things that haunt him in new york. i am
and then i looooooove this section as a hint of eiji pov in our ash playlist:
when you want to take him away with you but you also understand that he's been through horrors that you can hardly imagine and has an entire life without you. when you love him but fear that you may never truly understand him. yeah
➣ the national - you were a kindness
is it even one of my playlists if i don't have a song by the national on there!!!! ok i'm actually having such a hard time picking lyrics because this entire song is just their relationship. like this whole section:
"a confident wreck" = actually ash. "you made a slow disaster out of me" = the only time ash lets his guard down in the entire show is when he's thinking about eiji.
wanting not to want you won't make it so T_____T another reference to when ash tries to push eiji away for his own safety and then finally asks him to stay (even if it's not forever...! even if it's just for now...!!!)
➣ san fermin - the myth
i really could have picked a few san fermin songs but i worked hard to pick only one song per artist this time... (rip futile_devices you were so close) but really these last two songs before the ost are so beautiful i almost feel bad for analyzing them for my own purposes. this song is about death, about birds that come and warn you when it's your time to go. it's melancholy and it's peaceful and it's perfect for ash.
earlier in the song, the narrator says "i would sing for their lives," referring to the people who passed before them (need i even mention all the people ash has lost...), before it switches to "my life" at the end. it's cathartic, even if it's really fucking sad!
➣ timbre - the persistence of first love
even just looking at this song title makes me emotional LOL but we've finally arrived at our eiji pov song.
honestly the face i made when i was listening to this album the other day and this song comes on that PERFECTLY FITS ASHEIJI? as if the beauty of the song itself didn't make me feel enough... anyways i really think these lyrics speak for themselves. ash wants nothing more than eiji's safety (enough to risk his life for it, multiple times), but eiji wants nothing more than ash.
➣ banana fish ost - aslan
aslan is ash's real name, this is my favorite song on the soundtrack. gorgeous and relaxing and of course with a deep sense of melancholy... perfect ending T_____T
then i'll save you in the next one, for sure. (art cr.)
i don't even know how to describe akeshu anymore like in my brain it's just like That's The Perfect Ship. i'm just gonna copy from my fandom history: akechi little bitch boy gay stuckup obsessed with akira perfect exterior hiding his true self deep hidden trauma tragic ending. akira perfect foil well-adjusted perfect friend to everyone but drawn to akechi also hiding his true self in a different way. you’re_the_only_one_who_understands_me. it_doesn’t_feel_real_if_it’s_not_with_you.
yes the ash/akechi parallels are real no i can't get into it right now. here's the playlist link
➣ grimes - life in the vivid dream
shortest song on the playlist so i think it acts as a good intro. and the beginning section IMMEDIATELY hits:
akechi (essentially) having no family/completely reinventing himself/surrounded by evil adults
fast forward to when the phantom thieves (akira and friends) ruin his revenge plot and he realizes everything he's done has been for nothing
➣ josef salvat - alone
well this song definitely isn't HAPPY (none of them are) but i'd say it's one of the more lighthearted ones? so it put it early too. and the entirety of both verses is so perfectly akechi it's crazy. also some of these songs are just akechi character study while others are akeshu (akechi/akira) and this one is definitely both
this song is literally just akechi embarrassing internal monologue like i think he'd burst into flames if he said the L word out loud but "the last one left standing that I can be absurd with" is sooo akeshu
abridged second verse but like LOOK. repressed completely fake image celebrity who "can easily be controlled with praise" (shido p5 quote) & the second half is when the phantom thieves become a national sensation and everyone starts hating akechi. jealous and on his own!
➣ sylvan esso - die young
[looks at the title] [thru tears] well i think we all know why this is here <3
LIKE DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY ANYTHING. the whole "i had a plan you ruined it completely" is just canon and UM in a world where akechi doesn't nebulously d-word (i mean in royal its implied that he survived unless akira was just hallucinating him but anyways) then akira being the reason he has to force himself to survive / tentatively reach HAPPINESS or CATHARSIS is so personal to me
➣gotye - smoke and mirrors
idk if any other song could more perfectly ENCAPSULATE akechi's relationship with identity and celebrity. every lyric is seriously perfect but:
YOU'RE A FRAUD AND YOU KNOW IT? literally. also wrt "giving pleasure" / "you'd gladly sell yourself to others" it's not explicit in-game but ywntmha kind of perfectly expands on my headcanons for what akechi has been through during his foster years, with shido's crew, etc.
also "Mother, are you watching?" ah....
➣death of lovers - the absolute
much more vague lyrics in this one but:
i like "killing you with dreams of perfection" cuz it could be akechi @ akira (self explanatory) or akechi @ himself (trying so hard to be perfect that he ends up metaphorically killing himself)
when the akechi song has his codename in it <3
➣nothing but thieves - unperson
akechi’s character in one lyric:
[cue loud guitar riffs] this is the first of TWO nothing but thieves songs on here (i couldn’t pick) and i feel like at this point in the playlist we can get a little ANGRY. this song to me is third semester akechi when he finally sheds the detective prince mask:
the last two lines especially—being no longer fit for public consumption as a POSITIVE cuz it means he’s finally himself, if nothing else
when you get k-worded by your clone aka your cognitive double in your tyrannical father’s metaphysical consciousness. it’s fine tho
➣nothing but thieves - i was just a kid
he LITERALLY was just a kid T______T
this is when akechi finally realizes he was not the big man with a plan he thought he was, instead he was a 14/15 year old kid still grieving his mother who ended up being actively manipulated by his estranged father, NOT the other way around...
also:
literal play by play of when he shoots akira in the head but nothing happens (it was his cognitive double) :(
➣boygenius - bite the hand
I CAN'T TOUCH YOU / I WOULDN'T IF I COULD? this is really just a tragic akeshu song tbh. and it’s a PERFECT one
all of these songs are akechi pov but this one (especially this part) could go either way... akira afraid of akechi (self explanatory) or akechi afraid of akira (well i guess akira is ~dangerous~ too but i love interpreting this as akechi afraid of what akira makes him FEEL... like the "i'll bite the hand that feeds me" repetition after being akechi's refusal to accept anything good for himself...)
➣radiohead - let down
after you realize you're too emotionally scarred to have a proper relationship (bite the hand) you move onto radiohead to REALLY feel the depression! this song is a classic so i don't even think i need to say anything but i like the following:
as a metaphor for his persona awakening... "hysterical and useless" especially reminds me of his summoning loki in the engine room
➣the national - conversation 16
did i start making this entire playlist because of this song? maybe. you'll see why
first of all akechi constantly living off akira's leblanc coffee & akira working at a flower shop... this song especially fits in a world where they got together BEFORE akechi shows akira his ~true self~ cuz of the whole keeping his miserable thoughts to himself
LITERALLY ALL OF THIS? its like after "What do you think will change?" from bite the hand & experiencing the depression of let down akechi's like fuck maybe i do want to change. and finally admits to himself that akira is "the only thing he ever wants anymore" even after he ruined everything he's worked for. but he can't even let himself try because:
sometimes it's all a bit too much.
➣the smiths - please, please, please, let me get what i want
this song is also really short and the entire thing is just akechi inner monologue when he allows himself to marinate on how horrible his life has been:
this song is especially fun cuz it could be akechi wanting his original goal—scamming papa shido long enough to finally ruin his life/kill his ass OR wanting akira and with him a semblance of a normal happy life...
he doesn't get either in canon, though, regardless
➣glass animals - golden antlers
when i first heard the beginning of this song and i was like [beyonce meme] AKECHI?! the way his (initial) metaverse outfit is all white & "smiling with a face of all eyes" meaning both (1) he's always on the lookout making sure no one's realized his life is a lie and (2) everyone constantly looking at HIM (being a celebrity, also the thieves watching him cuz they've been suspicious of him from the get-go)
first of all his metaverse mask being RED too... but this part is so evocative to me cuz it literally feels like a description of when he went from robin hood (initial "fake" persona) to loki (his "red righteous soul"). also "can anybody find out any other way?" when the thieves try to bargain with him throughout that fight... crazy!
➣johanna warren - rose potion
i was (still am) so deeply obsessed with this passage as an akeshu description:
akechi deeply resenting akira for being what he considers "perfect" & the fact that they're LITERALLY foils for e/o in game (both have the wildcard ability but akechi is what happens when you don't have any arcana aka genuine relationships with others)
this song calling akechi out for having both masochistic AND narcissistic tendencies? well it's true. also "the only way to get free is to die without dying" when you die in the cognitive world and no one knows whether you're actually dead or not until you show up(?) during the postcredits train scene to show your ex (ambiguous) one final glimpse... anyways
➣bon iver - 715 – CRΣΣKS
another one with a lot of ambiguous lyrics but i love this as a depression song and almost a catharsis song?
but it's not in the way that akechi actually Gets What He Wants but that he can finally admit that he's TRYING to get it? and then the "god damn turn around now" part at the end... when akechi pushes akira away but internally wants him to turn around and stay so badly
➣novo amor - repeat until death
i really like this song being last both vibe-wise and content-wise. even the title being "repeat until death" is perfect.
i seriously think the "i said it, almost" "i had it, almost" repetition throughout this song is essential for his character... he almost got to the end of his revenge plot (before akira ruined it), he almost thwarted the thieves and killed akira (before akira ruined it), he almost opened himself up and had something with akira (before his cognitive double ruined it), he almost had something with akira AGAIN (before he himself ruined it by having too much pride). and it's like these almosts keep repeating themselves... until death, even
soooo :3 i've been wanting to move my akeshu playlist here for a while and then i recently got diagnosed with banfish disease & ofc had to make a playlist so i thought let's just put them together<3 i'm also now realizing how similar the titles are LOL when you have obvious taste in vaguely tragic ships... anyway lets do asheiji first since it's shorter and sweeter.
even if it's not forever ↬
even if it's just for now. (art cr.)
not that i think anyone will read this but very brief intro:
banana fish is an anime with the worst name of all time about a drug that makes you go insane. but it's also about love and healing and it has one of the most personal canon ships of all time: asheiji.
ash is... well he's very sad and angry and also very special and he's been through the most insane shit but all he wants is to keep those around him safe and find a little peace.
Ash's character is mostly defined by his constant struggle for freedom against his oppressors, his fight to overcome his trauma over sexual abuse, and most importantly, to find his real place in the world. (bf wiki)
a little bit hackneyed but it's true!
and then eiji is our secondary mc who meets and forms a very quick and very important bond with ash. he comes to america as a depressed photographer's assistant and leaves the love of someone's life. (from the anime: "I'm really glad I came to America. I met lots of people. And more than anything, I met you.") it really is that serious.
(is an oppressed apple music user) here's a youtube link.
➣ banana fish ost - hometown
i wanted to open and close the playlist with my two favorite osts! hometown is interesting to me because of what it implies for both ash and eiji. for ash, home is somewhere he's run away from, somewhere unsafe (despite the idyllic nature of the tiny cape cod town when we see it, when we learn a good chunk of ash's backstory.) and then for eiji, home is the exact opposite—somewhere safe. ash tries to get eiji to go home multiple times during the story (despite it being so difficult for him that we see him drinking alone in the kitchen after the first time) because he hates the danger that he brings to eiji's life. despite this, eiji stays in new york with him until the bitter end.
➣ sufjan stevens - to be alone with you
You gave your body to the lonely / They took your clothes / You gave up a wife and a family / You gave your ghost / To be alone with me
ah this song. this is one that could conceivably be both ash or eiji pov, but as whole all the songs on this playlist are ash pov to me! minus the penultimate one which i feel like acts as eiji's response. (now that i'm thinking about it it's similar to the akeshu playlist where essentially all the songs are akechi pov LOL i always find it the most interesting to get into the mind of the more... troubled character.) anyway obviously eiji doesn't see himself as having given anything up but it's about ash's self-deprecation etc etc.
and the final line in the song is:
I've never known a man who loved me
compare this with this ash quote from ep 17(?):
I'm happy now, because I know there's at least one guy who cares for me and wants nothing in return. I can't believe how lucky I am. It's the happiest feeling in the world.
T____T
➣ lightning bug - wings of desire
definitely less of a blatant connection lyric-wise than the previous song but i really like it as a bit of a softer ash self-reflection song... i also tried to make all of these songs flow together sonically so they're all of a similar folk vein (which also fits with the two osts i made the playlist around)!
My heart is made of water / My heart is made of flame / If it's my own hand that hunts me / Then who am I to blame?
ash struggling with feelings of apathy as well as gusts of emotion ("I don't know how much blood is on my hands. I don't feel anything." from ep11, before bursting into tears), ++ ash feeling like he's chosen this life for himself despite everything that's happened to him in the past, so on.
➣ the japanese house - clean
this is the first song i added & it makes me sooo T__T
From the movements you made / And the soft gaze you gave / You understood / And I knew it wouldn't last / But in the clean light you cast / I was good / I was good
AGGHH!! eiji being the only person who truly understands him / the only person ash would even let try... and the "I knew it wouldn't last" tying back to the "even if it's not forever" part of ash's confession. i also really like the imagery of eiji casting a "clean light" on him because ash considers his sexual history an irremovable/irredeemable part of his past while he always calls eiji innocent etc etc. (obviously neither are more clean than the other but when it's ash pov it's always a little bit blunt and a little bit mean to himself. in a society where people wrote good bf fic this would be expanded on but alas)
➣ woom - come wander / chimicum rain
They said, "Come wander with me, love / Come wander with me / Away from this sad world
anyone else thinking about when eiji told ash to come back to japan with him. that he wanted to show him his hometown and take him away from all the things that haunt him in new york. i am
and then i looooooove this section as a hint of eiji pov in our ash playlist:
He belongs here / Can't have him / He belongs here / Can't know him / He belongs here
when you want to take him away with you but you also understand that he's been through horrors that you can hardly imagine and has an entire life without you. when you love him but fear that you may never truly understand him. yeah
➣ the national - you were a kindness
is it even one of my playlists if i don't have a song by the national on there!!!! ok i'm actually having such a hard time picking lyrics because this entire song is just their relationship. like this whole section:
I'll do what I can to be a confident wreck / Can't feel this way forever, I mean / There wasn't any way for anyone to settle in / You made a slow disaster out of me / There's a radiant darkness upon us / But I don't want you to worry / I was careful but nothing is harmless / Baby, you better hurry
"a confident wreck" = actually ash. "you made a slow disaster out of me" = the only time ash lets his guard down in the entire show is when he's thinking about eiji.
It doesn't work that way / Wanting not to want you won't make it so / It doesn't work that way / Don't leave me here alone
wanting not to want you won't make it so T_____T another reference to when ash tries to push eiji away for his own safety and then finally asks him to stay (even if it's not forever...! even if it's just for now...!!!)
➣ san fermin - the myth
i really could have picked a few san fermin songs but i worked hard to pick only one song per artist this time... (rip futile_devices you were so close) but really these last two songs before the ost are so beautiful i almost feel bad for analyzing them for my own purposes. this song is about death, about birds that come and warn you when it's your time to go. it's melancholy and it's peaceful and it's perfect for ash.
When the seabirds come / Ships in an orange sky / And birds of brilliant white fly low to talk to me / Remind me of the child who I used to be / Running on tiptoe / I would sing for my life / I would sing for my life / If I knew the words
earlier in the song, the narrator says "i would sing for their lives," referring to the people who passed before them (need i even mention all the people ash has lost...), before it switches to "my life" at the end. it's cathartic, even if it's really fucking sad!
➣ timbre - the persistence of first love
even just looking at this song title makes me emotional LOL but we've finally arrived at our eiji pov song.
What is there left to say / We’ve said it all before / Where is there left to stand except for where we are / There’s no other place I’d rather be / Than here with you / Oh there are safer places, yes / But I don’t want to be safe
honestly the face i made when i was listening to this album the other day and this song comes on that PERFECTLY FITS ASHEIJI? as if the beauty of the song itself didn't make me feel enough... anyways i really think these lyrics speak for themselves. ash wants nothing more than eiji's safety (enough to risk his life for it, multiple times), but eiji wants nothing more than ash.
➣ banana fish ost - aslan
aslan is ash's real name, this is my favorite song on the soundtrack. gorgeous and relaxing and of course with a deep sense of melancholy... perfect ending T_____T
if not in this life ↬
then i'll save you in the next one, for sure. (art cr.)
i don't even know how to describe akeshu anymore like in my brain it's just like That's The Perfect Ship. i'm just gonna copy from my fandom history: akechi little bitch boy gay stuckup obsessed with akira perfect exterior hiding his true self deep hidden trauma tragic ending. akira perfect foil well-adjusted perfect friend to everyone but drawn to akechi also hiding his true self in a different way. you’re_the_only_one_who_understands_me. it_doesn’t_feel_real_if_it’s_not_with_you.
yes the ash/akechi parallels are real no i can't get into it right now. here's the playlist link
➣ grimes - life in the vivid dream
shortest song on the playlist so i think it acts as a good intro. and the beginning section IMMEDIATELY hits:
I could live in the world just like a stranger / I could tell you the truth or a lie / I could tell you that people are good in the end / But why, why would I?
akechi (essentially) having no family/completely reinventing himself/surrounded by evil adults
What do you mean? / What do you mean, it's all gone? / I've waited here so long
fast forward to when the phantom thieves (akira and friends) ruin his revenge plot and he realizes everything he's done has been for nothing
➣ josef salvat - alone
well this song definitely isn't HAPPY (none of them are) but i'd say it's one of the more lighthearted ones? so it put it early too. and the entirety of both verses is so perfectly akechi it's crazy. also some of these songs are just akechi character study while others are akeshu (akechi/akira) and this one is definitely both
But you're the only one who gets this / The last one left standing that I can be absurd with / Come on, what am I supposed to do? / Yes, I know I'm hard work, baby, I love you too
this song is literally just akechi embarrassing internal monologue like i think he'd burst into flames if he said the L word out loud but "the last one left standing that I can be absurd with" is sooo akeshu
I'm bursting at the seams waiting to hear again how great I am / ... / It goes really well until you find out what I'm really like / ... / I like to think I'm balanced, but can't look at my phone / 'Cause you're so hyped and now i'm jealous and still on my own
abridged second verse but like LOOK. repressed completely fake image celebrity who "can easily be controlled with praise" (shido p5 quote) & the second half is when the phantom thieves become a national sensation and everyone starts hating akechi. jealous and on his own!
➣ sylvan esso - die young
[looks at the title] [thru tears] well i think we all know why this is here <3
It's not like I chose, not like I tried / But now I gotta wait around and watch you burn so bright / ... / Had it all planned out before you met me / I had a plan you ruined it completely / I was gonna die young / Now I gotta wait for you, honey
LIKE DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY ANYTHING. the whole "i had a plan you ruined it completely" is just canon and UM in a world where akechi doesn't nebulously d-word (i mean in royal its implied that he survived unless akira was just hallucinating him but anyways) then akira being the reason he has to force himself to survive / tentatively reach HAPPINESS or CATHARSIS is so personal to me
➣gotye - smoke and mirrors
idk if any other song could more perfectly ENCAPSULATE akechi's relationship with identity and celebrity. every lyric is seriously perfect but:
You're a fraud, and you know it / And every night and day you take the stage / And it always entertains, you're giving pleasure / And that's admirable, you tell yourself / And so you'd gladly sell yourself to others / Mother, are you watching?
YOU'RE A FRAUD AND YOU KNOW IT? literally. also wrt "giving pleasure" / "you'd gladly sell yourself to others" it's not explicit in-game but ywntmha kind of perfectly expands on my headcanons for what akechi has been through during his foster years, with shido's crew, etc.
also "Mother, are you watching?" ah....
➣death of lovers - the absolute
much more vague lyrics in this one but:
Killing you with dreams of perfection / Fire creates the dawn / But no ones listening / To the sound of everything slowly burn
i like "killing you with dreams of perfection" cuz it could be akechi @ akira (self explanatory) or akechi @ himself (trying so hard to be perfect that he ends up metaphorically killing himself)
And the crow who perches on your tongue / Reminding you it won't be too long
when the akechi song has his codename in it <3
➣nothing but thieves - unperson
akechi’s character in one lyric:
This is not what you think it is / It’s worse
[cue loud guitar riffs] this is the first of TWO nothing but thieves songs on here (i couldn’t pick) and i feel like at this point in the playlist we can get a little ANGRY. this song to me is third semester akechi when he finally sheds the detective prince mask:
And maybe I'm flawed, but I do exist / My thoughts are mine, I didn't sign up for this / Now my spirit can barely function, it's ugly / No longer fit for public consumption / Well, I guess that's something
the last two lines especially—being no longer fit for public consumption as a POSITIVE cuz it means he’s finally himself, if nothing else
I’m just another clone of a clone of a clone
when you get k-worded by your clone aka your cognitive double in your tyrannical father’s metaphysical consciousness. it’s fine tho
➣nothing but thieves - i was just a kid
he LITERALLY was just a kid T______T
Then you gave me something / Something to believe in / Cause I was just a kid / I was just a kid / How did it get like this?
this is when akechi finally realizes he was not the big man with a plan he thought he was, instead he was a 14/15 year old kid still grieving his mother who ended up being actively manipulated by his estranged father, NOT the other way around...
also:
Just as I thought I had it all / I pulled the trigger / And nothing happened
literal play by play of when he shoots akira in the head but nothing happens (it was his cognitive double) :(
➣boygenius - bite the hand
I CAN'T TOUCH YOU / I WOULDN'T IF I COULD? this is really just a tragic akeshu song tbh. and it’s a PERFECT one
Who do you think you are? / Who do you think you I am? / What do you wanna say? / What do you think will change? / Maybe I'm afraid of you
all of these songs are akechi pov but this one (especially this part) could go either way... akira afraid of akechi (self explanatory) or akechi afraid of akira (well i guess akira is ~dangerous~ too but i love interpreting this as akechi afraid of what akira makes him FEEL... like the "i'll bite the hand that feeds me" repetition after being akechi's refusal to accept anything good for himself...)
➣radiohead - let down
after you realize you're too emotionally scarred to have a proper relationship (bite the hand) you move onto radiohead to REALLY feel the depression! this song is a classic so i don't even think i need to say anything but i like the following:
One day I am gonna grow wings / A chemical reaction / Hysterical and useless
as a metaphor for his persona awakening... "hysterical and useless" especially reminds me of his summoning loki in the engine room
➣the national - conversation 16
did i start making this entire playlist because of this song? maybe. you'll see why
Live on coffee and flowers / Try not to wonder what the weather will be / I figured out what we're missing / I tell you miserable things after you are asleep / ... / It's a Hollywood summer / You'd never believe the shitty thoughts I think
first of all akechi constantly living off akira's leblanc coffee & akira working at a flower shop... this song especially fits in a world where they got together BEFORE akechi shows akira his ~true self~ cuz of the whole keeping his miserable thoughts to himself
I'm a confident liar / Had my head in the oven so you'd know where I'll be / I'll try to be more romantic / I wanna believe in everything you believe / ... / Fall asleep in your branches / You're the only thing I ever want anymore
LITERALLY ALL OF THIS? its like after "What do you think will change?" from bite the hand & experiencing the depression of let down akechi's like fuck maybe i do want to change. and finally admits to himself that akira is "the only thing he ever wants anymore" even after he ruined everything he's worked for. but he can't even let himself try because:
I was afraid, I'd eat your brains / 'Cause I'm evil / 'Cause I'm evil / 'Cause I'm evil
sometimes it's all a bit too much.
➣the smiths - please, please, please, let me get what i want
this song is also really short and the entire thing is just akechi inner monologue when he allows himself to marinate on how horrible his life has been:
Haven't had a dream in a long time / See, the life I've had / Can make a good man bad / So for once in my life / Let me get what I want / Lord knows, it would be the first time
this song is especially fun cuz it could be akechi wanting his original goal—scamming papa shido long enough to finally ruin his life/kill his ass OR wanting akira and with him a semblance of a normal happy life...
he doesn't get either in canon, though, regardless
➣glass animals - golden antlers
Look at this poor boy / All dressed up in white / Now how can he smile / With a face of all eyes
when i first heard the beginning of this song and i was like [beyonce meme] AKECHI?! the way his (initial) metaverse outfit is all white & "smiling with a face of all eyes" meaning both (1) he's always on the lookout making sure no one's realized his life is a lie and (2) everyone constantly looking at HIM (being a celebrity, also the thieves watching him cuz they've been suspicious of him from the get-go)
His cellophane mask has filled with red smoke / Look through the holes in his eyes / And see his red righteous soul / Can anybody find out / Any other way / It's choking up his throat now / And dripping out his mouth
first of all his metaverse mask being RED too... but this part is so evocative to me cuz it literally feels like a description of when he went from robin hood (initial "fake" persona) to loki (his "red righteous soul"). also "can anybody find out any other way?" when the thieves try to bargain with him throughout that fight... crazy!
➣johanna warren - rose potion
i was (still am) so deeply obsessed with this passage as an akeshu description:
Now I see you're not a perfect prism / Just the perfect foil for my masochism / Tell me, do I look different to you / In light of our little cataclysm?
akechi deeply resenting akira for being what he considers "perfect" & the fact that they're LITERALLY foils for e/o in game (both have the wildcard ability but akechi is what happens when you don't have any arcana aka genuine relationships with others)
I'm tired and I feel ashamed / Of how I've let my narcissism reign untamed / And yet I know that to blame myself Is part of the same old game / The only way to get free is to die / Without dying / And I'm ready to give it a try
this song calling akechi out for having both masochistic AND narcissistic tendencies? well it's true. also "the only way to get free is to die without dying" when you die in the cognitive world and no one knows whether you're actually dead or not until you show up(?) during the postcredits train scene to show your ex (ambiguous) one final glimpse... anyways
➣bon iver - 715 – CRΣΣKS
another one with a lot of ambiguous lyrics but i love this as a depression song and almost a catharsis song?
Oh then, how we gonna cry? / Cause it once might not mean something? / And love at second glance, it is not something that we'll need / Honey, understand that I have been left here in the reeds / But all I'm trying to do is get my feet out from the crease
but it's not in the way that akechi actually Gets What He Wants but that he can finally admit that he's TRYING to get it? and then the "god damn turn around now" part at the end... when akechi pushes akira away but internally wants him to turn around and stay so badly
➣novo amor - repeat until death
i really like this song being last both vibe-wise and content-wise. even the title being "repeat until death" is perfect.
Low, a part of me now / A palm to my mouth / I said it, almost / ... / Shudder with blood in my nose / I had it, almost
i seriously think the "i said it, almost" "i had it, almost" repetition throughout this song is essential for his character... he almost got to the end of his revenge plot (before akira ruined it), he almost thwarted the thieves and killed akira (before akira ruined it), he almost opened himself up and had something with akira (before his cognitive double ruined it), he almost had something with akira AGAIN (before he himself ruined it by having too much pride). and it's like these almosts keep repeating themselves... until death, even
[one month later]
Date: 2021-09-04 02:47 am (UTC)